A waitresses war-wounds

So today I went to work.

This may not sound like it is on a par with a death sentence to most people, but I am an underpaid waitress at a very crowded sports bar, and on top of that, I am extremely crap at my job. This is no exagguration. I trip over chairs, I drop things, I always bash my hip on the snooker table, no matter how many times I internally remind myself its there and I forget to put the lid on the smoothie maker before blending, resulting in rasberry-and-banana flavoured carnage.... I generally wander around like a confused and stressed chicken with a tray (but no head), desperately asking everyone in sight if this cappuchino belongs to them. Roxie will confirm this.

Lucky for me though, our scary supervisor Freya was not there today. She had her friend Kara taking her place and acting as her spy, but thankfully Kara was extremely hungover and not in the mood for too much screaming at the minions. Also, my boyfriend Mark came in to see me which was nice, although a little nerve-wracking when I realised that our boss and owner of the bar had decided to pay a rare visit, and Mark was standing in the washing-up room chatting with me and cheerfully criticising the bars supply of tea-bags. Not a very professional look. Also, the boss would be outraged to hear his tea-bags being mocked. I made Mark sneak out and run away as soon as the boss had his back turned, which I now realise made us look rather suspicious to other customers.

Now I'm back home and, as always, feeling knackered and wondering what the point of life is. Wanting to quit, but at the same time trying very hard not to get fired.

In conclusion, waitressing is shit, never do it. Do not fall into the soul-sucking, low-fat latte-making trap. If your tempted, just don't. Go somewhere else. Anywhere else. Stack shelves. Pack boxes. WORK IN A NICE QUIET SHOP, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! This is all advice I wish I could have given myself five months ago, but its too late for me ... save yourselves!

Bye now. I'm off to make a sandwich.