Today Mark gave me a present. It was a giant, novelty union jack hat that he'd bought off a polish woman in London. Its large, tacky and velvet - it is perfect. I'm wearing it now, and enjoying it almost as much as I did embarassing Mark by wearing it everywhere all day. I got some very strange looks in waitrose. They were clearly all jelous.
I went to Jems house after school, where we had chinese food, which is my favourite kind of food in the world. In fact my ambition is too some day move to China (where they just call it food) and grow fat on it, thus lapsing happily into an obese and oriental old age. Although I may have to get the hang of chopsticks first, as I don't want to be fat and rude.
Jems had also found half a packet of cigarettes on the bus this morning, so we washed down the chinese by smoking a couple in the field behind her house, like the cool loser-kids we are... I must say, smoking now seems even more pointless to me than before. Aside from the fact that it stinks like my old science teachers beard (I can still smell it in my hair, my throat now feels like sandpaper and true story about the beard by the way), and a few packs can be bought for the same price of a decent pair of shoes, and it fucks up your lungs and makes your tongue go all furry, and eventually gives you a laugh, that sounds like a cough, that sounds like an under fed goat on crack etc. ........ you are basically just sucking on a small tube filled with tar! Often while standing outside a pub, most likely in the rain, which you have been exiled from on account of having a disgusting habit. And what in the name of arse is so cool about that?!?!??
Point made, I like to think. Mini-rant over.
In other news, check this out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5dap5HfPfY
Be warned, though. You have to be in the right mood for it, as it will either make you laugh hysterically or want to stab your computer screen with a blunt instrument. For me it was the former, but my giant novelty hat has put me in an unusually good mood and I am finding quite a few things funny.
Hahahahahaheha. Novelty hat.
byebye x
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